They are my thoughts, my ego!

By Ron van Helvoirt on Feb 11, 2021

Rapeseed field

Photo by Irina Iriser on Unsplash

Too beautiful not to share

As my search for something deeper, more beautiful and real continued, I realized that it was becoming more and more frustrating that I was not finding the meaning that I was looking for so hard. Even though sometimes it seemed to be very close. At least, that is what I kept telling myself. The paradox is that my deep contemplation of this has actually brought the insight that I am not who I think I am. Or wanted to be and maybe that applies to you too?

I am realizing more and more that I have become all my experiences, fears, successes, memories and preferences. Who I think I am has brought me to where I am now. My thinking has helped me to survive and for that reason alone it has been worthwhile. But am I my thinking? Are you your thinking? Who I really am is the expert of that motley collection of beliefs and memories. I have experienced it all, but it is not me. They are my thoughts, my ego. In reality, it is free of meaning before I will give it a meaning. From origin, it is free of a self-composed meaning which could be consisting of multiple elements.

When you discover this, that is the consciousness that remains and provides continuity. You also have this consciousness and that makes us basically the same.

The result is that I am aware of my thoughts and can let them go whenever I want. I am still as preoccupied as in the time before I learned to let go. The big difference is that I don't stay in a situation as long. I cramp up less and stay stuck in anger.

4 Tips to start being with aware of your thoughts

  1. Take your time.
    This path is very gradual and continuous: the automatic reflexes of our subconscious are so strong that it takes a long time to recognize them and let them go.
  2. Letting go of the idea that you have to understand what is happening.
    You do not need to know, you cannot know and it is impossible to know. You can only experience it.
  3. Using emotions as strength.
    Do not take a decision in a negative emotion spiral, but take it in emotionally neutral moments. Then determine your goal and use your emotional moments to adjust your path. Use emotion as a directional indicator.
  4. The stimulus of developmental peers.
    If the school or company cannot provide these much-needed peers, then you would do well to look for them explicitly.

I’m curious to know what my writing evokes in you. What’s your view on this subject, and what possibilities do you observe? Join the conversation and share your thoughts in the comment section below. I’d love to hear from you!

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